Quiet Flight - Bikram Yoga Teacher Training Fall '08

Reflections on week 4 –

Another week has gone by – again!  Week 4 was a good one!  Many times the comments of “what a fast week” echoed through the halls of the hotel.  Posture Clinics are well under way and, aside from getting comfortable with and supportive of their respective group members, everyone is really stepping up this week, figuring out where their voice is and how to bring it out in this new language of Bikram dialogue.  And what a language it is.  At times I feel as though we are all talking in secret code.  It slips right in to everyday conversation.  We find ourselves saying ‘Continuously’, ‘Eventually, in the future’, ‘tremendous’, and an entire array of other Bikram-isms all throughout the day.   A profound new phenomenon has become part of my relationship with this new language… falling asleep uttering the lines of the next day’s posture to be delivered in posture clinic, THEN hearing them interspersed in the oddest of ways throughout my dreams all night long, spoken by random characters of those dreams, only to wake up to “grab your heels from the outside, all five fingers touching each other…pull harder, keep pulling, chin forward, roll forward…”  You get the picture.    IN MY SLEEP, PEOPLE!!!

 No rest for the weary, study time is all the time.  In the shower, walking to and from class, poolside on the weekends, during lunch, at 6am and sometimes again post-lecture at 1.30am in the open-air hotel lobby, as well as the most precious of  all times…while sleeping!  When the Boss takes over, he doesn’t mess around!

 As one of our visiting teachers said yesterday in posture clinic, THIS IS THE TIME!  We have this time to be here for our SELVES, in every way possible.  How often in real adult life do we have this kind of opportunity? To  take an honest step back and IN to our selves, to look at, study, reflect and learn.  9 weeks for us.  Yes, the days seems pretty crammed, with practice twice daily, posture clinics, evening lectures whose closing times this week were a greater mystery than the square root of 34432.   Absolutely Fabulous.  Maybe not always in that moment, when cramming the last two sentences in right before clinic or especially in those seemingly extra long moments of sitting in less than inviting upright chairs for hours on end taking in Bollywood flicks and the beloved Maha Bharat series.  Ah, those straight back chairs.  However, in the grander scheme of it all, it is truly a gift for all of us who are here able to immerse ourselves fully into an experience unique unto itself, creating new friendships that will last lifetimes with others as well as with our selves, along side  people from all over the planet, here for the same thing but for as many different reasons as we are in number.  Absolutely Fabulous!

On another note, a few unexpected and unforgettable incidences both opened and closed the week with a bit of a bang.  Monday night was one filled with a range of emotion as opposite as oceans and desert.  The day began in high spirit, everyone happy to enter week 4.  Bikram had returned to us from a quick trip that took him away for the greater part of week 3 and everyone including the Boss himself was excited to be in the hot room at 5pm for practice.  You just knew from the energy in his voice with comments during half moon pose such as “you are 5000 times better than Monday 4 weeks ago”  that class was going to be a tremendous (see I told you, dialogue words pop up everywhere) ride.  How that evening’s class concluded was something no one had ever experienced before, staff and senior teachers included.  BIKRAM LEFT THE ROOM in utter frustration after half-tortoise (which, for you non-Bikramites is 4 postures and a breathing exercise from the end – about 15minutes).  There were a lot of people leaving, coming in and out and it was blazing CRAZY hot.  People  were dropping like flies.  It was the night of the inferno.   Week one this commotion is expected they say.  Week 4, not so much.  Bikram has said many times, he feels he is not doing his job if we do not do good.  He witnessed all the flailing and crashing after a week of being gone and was upset we were doing so poorly.  To say the least, the mood was very, very somber. We were all working hard to welcome Boss back after he had been away, and instead we let him down...

Upon entering the lecture hall that evening, we were instructed to sit immediately and silently await Boss’s arrival.  No one knew quite what was waiting for us around the bend. 

Here’s the great part:  Boss came in, put on his headset and with just  “check, check, 1, 2, 3, 4, check, check…why’s so quiet in here, is a funeral or something?” the distinct and painful chill that immediately replaced our excruciating heat only two hours before  was lifted in an instant.   As a senior teacher put it later, in those two hours, Bikram did his yoga.  He asked questions and found out that everyone including senior teachers and advanced practitioners were in agreement that something was off with the room.  He told us it was not our fault by sharing a common Indian  saying: “have you ever heard one hand clapping?” –  it always takes two.  He informed us the engineer who built the room was en-route from Mexico City to implement a solution.  We later found out that the humidity that night – intended to be around 45% was 97%  and to add even more flames to the fire, the temp was maxing out somewhere between 130 and 140- OH YES…  

While there was mention that in some cases more attention needs to be brought to the practice and some patterns truly need to be cleaned up, at the end of the day it all was good again between the Boss and all of us.

Throughout the week new daily additions donned the  hot room walls.  Tuesday evening two large floor fans accompanied us in the back, along with open doors.  Wednesday MOUNTED fans we found on both the side and back walls.  3 more fans, mounted on the columns, spun hot air through the room the following night as we were informed that a few vents would soon be circulating fresh outside air to complete the room’s improvements in the days to come.  The room is still a hot one, trust me, but a bit of circulation is a welcomed commodity.  Only now, if eyes were closed, you would easily believe you were practicing in the midst of an enormous swarm of hornets!!!

In perfect tune to the way the week unfolded, Friday night went out with a bang – as we were treated to a brief but beautiful fireworks display going skyward on the beach directly in front of the hotel – what a way to close Friday night, and the week for that matter!  A fellow trainee and  I got a private viewing of the show up on our 5th floor mezzanine overlooking the ocean – again, Absolutely Fabulous!

This weekend is proving to be one filled with serious dialogue.  Not many people out and about yesterday, (Saturday).  As we come to the beginning of week 5 postures will go much faster and it seems everyone is really taking the dialogue to heart.  Little groups were spotted here and there practicing, but for the most part the mood is quiet, chill, and studious.

Today is a Sunday that I believe everyone needed.  For me and about 40 or so fellow trainees and teachers, the day began with a great class taught by Dominic.  It was a bit more mellow, just a nice practice to get everything back in line for another week of serious work in the hot room.  What a great presence he has as a teacher, so thanks, Dom – it was a wonderful, therapeutic and thoroughly enjoyable class. 

Beautiful, gorgeous SUNday – sun shining bright and HOT.  Everyone can be spotted in or by the pool in little groups reciting triangle and separate leg head to knee pose dialogue.  The sun’s intensity required shoes with postures today – an odd sort of feeling having something between the toes in triangle other than your fingers!  More studying ahead as Sunday afternoon pulls in the evening and along with it the official close to week 4. 

It has been another powerful week – TREMENdous strength and dedication to the practice and the self.

We have many incredible teachers here with us now, some staying through to the end.  We are very lucky to be in such great hands, learning from the top notch teachers.  What could be better?  My home teacher is also coming for a visit later this week!! I look so forward  - will be great having a few home faces here for a few days to share this incredible experience!

I am grateful.

Namaste~

Sunday, Sept 28.  Sunday morning contemplation – week 2 in retrospect

So it is the close of week 2, and energy is good again.  This week has been a challenge in numerous ways. Tuesday’s illness, whatever that was, left in its wake a week of physical challenges I have not experienced before.  Weakness that arose from deep in the bones.  Legs going to jello directly underneath me, thank goodness for a strong friend’s arms that caught me and carried me out.  Feeling the body begin to chew on its own makeup for support and energy to get through the second half of our 90 minute daily doubles.  Lightheadedness and tightness in the chest all accompanied this intense muscle weakness along with surges that felt more as though I was an electrical conductor than a practicing yogi.  All the while the mind, oh the reeling mind.  What of breath control, calming the body at least to a degree.  It was interesting, less than enjoyable and certainly a shift in perspective.  I have not ever been in such a weakened physical state for so many days – of course, have also not ever been at Bikram training before either!  This body has shrunk down to no extras in the reserve tank.  Food is necessity, and good food, fuel.  Good luck getting enough in at a time however, as the stomach has been through the shrink cycle along with the rest of it! 

 These challenges are all welcomed.  I feel this week has been one of learning absolutely everything for the first time, again.  This time consciously.  Belly breathing, how to eat, learning each posture again through a new body.  It is different.  Everything is different.  No more comparison to an earlier practice or a previous day.  It is a new way. 

I have also learned that the best time for growing strong is at your weakest point.  Rather than wallowing in the weakness, accept it as the current reality, know it will pass in the blink of an eye and push through.  Strength will rise up through the muck – maybe not immediately, maybe not in the ways strength may have been defined before, but then again, what does before matter NOW?  Each new day provides a new way.  Allowing the self to be refreshed and new with each passing moment – yet another challenge – behooves you, for this way one is always prepared for what lies ahead.  No need for anticipation nor expectation, simply alive in the moment, in preparation.   Everything is and everything passes.  A simple yet wise morsel  in the air follows. 

 When you experience joy and are  absolutely fabulous and on top of the world, BE SAD, for less enjoyable times are sure to be in your not so distant future.  But! When you are in the mud and the muck, going through hell with no windows or doors,   no air to breath and no water to drink, BE HAPPY, for the good lies right around the bend.  

This is truth. 

 The interesting thing is watching the mind when you are truly knocked to the ground.  Once one element is alleviated, the mind immediately magnifies all remaining discomforts, rather than realizing that a small breathing space has been created, a window has been cracked, by one discomfort being diminished.  THIS is called practice!  The practice of using the mind as our tool rather than us constantly AND consistently being the slave to our mind, its mime, if you will.

 Lastly, if my discomforts and challenges have taught me anything at all this week, it is patience and respect for the body and mind.  I never in my wildest dreams imagined I would be on my back on a wet towel, in the back of the studio for over half a class.  Not that this is a judgment in any way,  but I just have never thought something would make me hit the floor and stay there throughout my favorite practice in the world.  It happened.  In fact, I sat out many postures throughout the week, maybe just one set here and there, but it is sitting out none-the-less.  Why did all this come on?  Last weekend I did nothing in order to allow my MIND to rest.  NOTHING.  I wanted a Sunday practice so badly in my mind that I was upset, antsy,, tense and unhappy all weekend.  This reeling of the mind poisoned my body more than a glass of wine ever would, and THIS is what came out as an immediate physical manifestation in the early hours of Tuesday morning – into the toilet, where all those insanely unnerving thoughts belonged in the first place.  Certainly not in the temple that is this body.  I realized this immediately when I went down on my back, having to lie as though paralyzed so not to arouse the nausea.  (“don’t even blink your eyes’)  Wow, what experience that was.  In this group of over 300 yogis all practicing in unison, one of which I had been a part of one minutes, there I was f lat on my back hearing the human raindrops echoing off the puddles on wet towels.  The ‘joke’ was on me, of course.  I could not, rather, refused to relax when it was time to over the weekend.  SO, I was made to take a load off without choice in the midst of my most favorite thing – HA!  The universe has its clever ways, no?!  So there it is, I have learned to slow, to honor the body, to give it rest.  Relaxation is yoga practice just as much if not more than the time on the mat.  As a result, two mornings ago I had the most calm Bikram yoga class ever.  CALM, yes, calm.  In the middle of all the sweat and heat and dialogue and did I mention heat?   Pure calm. 

I am grateful.

Namaste~ 

Dr Pepper Sunday –

Drank first Dr Pepper in life – wow.   Different.  Just craved the root beer thing - 

COCONUT lesson:

When you don’t look for it anymore, you find it, in abundance everywhere you look, and that is when you don’t need it anymore.

Mortar and Pistil:

Left hip – “grinding” out the junk of life… literally – very much a grinding feeling.  Different too...

It's Saturday - change in the routine a bit from full on to almost full stop - had a great class this morning - and now we are off till monday 8.30 am class - here's to a great bloodly, sweaty, teary and a bit gut wrenching first week - on to the next!  

This is going to be brief, as I am sitting dripping wet on the porch post evening kick in the butt, enjoying for a few moments a nice gentle breeze adn the sound of the ocean waves crashing (they have been big today!)  I am sipping my new favorite cocktail - the yogi cocktail - ice, water, limes, a pinch of sea salt and a pinch (or 2) of sugar - reFRESHing.

Hello everyone - it is proving a bit complicated to put fotos on here so I am posting mos of them on an open facebook address - please go check them out - enjoy - laugh - dont worry abotu some of the faces I might make, as I am taking a pic everyday directly after class - so I may at times appear as a "stunned rabbit"!!!

Wow is all I have to say.  It was a good day.  Classes were a little more tough than yesterday - some people are needing a little extra care, but at the end of the day everyone has made it through and all are cheering one another on as we move one by one through the first posture's dialogue in front of the Boss himself and the entire student body!

It is 8.30 Monday morning, September 15 – otherwise known as Day 1.  I just came in from a nice run on the beach, and now collect and prepare for what has been anticipated for so many months.  It is time  NOW!

Last night the fall ’08 training group came together as a collected body for the first time.  Orientation for training and the hotel ins and outs led into a buffet dinner where all the trainees told their stories of why, when and where to one another around tables decked in white and topped with sand and shells. 

Over the next 9 weeks the dialogue will be poured over in all accents and determination and strength will be gained.  Weakness will be faced head on and shall drip out in buckets as we drop all that was before this moment and surrender to all that is and all that will be. I have a feeling that grandiose, hot mirrored hall that is our new practice room will serve as our torture chamber and simultaneously as our greatest place of solace. There we melt away and completely rebuild.

Today at 10 am we meet the Boss.  Bikram will give his orientation and welcome speech and from that moment on we will find ourselves officially sealed, signed and delivered to the ride of our lives.

Anticipation is certainly in the air.

Through the sweat, tears, laughter, maybe some blood and guts and most definitely more sweat we are about to have daily run-ins with, may we all have a fabulously tough, exhilarating, cleansing, nurturing, self realizing and spiritually elevating experience.

Namaste~